In honor of Valentine’s Day next week – and in honor of loving and showing up for yourself – I felt inspired to create a short post on how, essentially, to date yourself, sharing ten simple ideas for self care to practice this month.
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1) Go on a walk.
Let’s begin with something really simple: go on a walk. Set time aside, even during the chaos of a work day and even when it’s cold, to walk outside. There’s something kind of amazing about being outside and moving yourself – around the block or pursuing a longer adventure – and I’ve started to pay more attention to how I feel pre- and post-walk. I notice a big shift following a slightly elevated heart rate, rosy cheeks (when there’s February wind), and having paid attention to the trees, clouds, and sidewalk.
By the end of this year, our family will try to spend 1000 hours outside. I know this is a huge challenge, one we’re unlikely to meet, but I love that we’re going for it. And as part of my own contribution to this shared effort, I’ve tried to walk at least one and up to three or four (when there’s time) miles a day, recognizing that this pursuit is a small but highly effective act of self care.
2) Wander a place you enjoy without an agenda.
This feels like a logical part two to what I’ve just shared. Whenever you can, wander – wander a park, a bookstore, a neighborhood you love. It’s important to set aside time to explore and take things in at your leisure…this in stark contrast to how our days are often structured.
3) Practice 10 to 20 minutes of mindful movement.
It’s well known that moving our bodies can positively affect our wellness and mental health. The best part of this, something I’ve really practiced these past few years with a toddler on the loose, is that you don’t need to carve out tons of time for this kind of self care. A short yoga practice (or WALK – see above) can yield big results, for my own mental state anyway.
On YouTube, I share a variety of guided practices – some just 10 to 20 minutes long – that focus on linking breath with movement. In physical yoga practices like these, I find it hard for the mind to wander away. Instead, I’m able to remain present, paying close attention to how my body and mind are feeling.
This is from a 10 minute strong arms practice.
4) Rest.
Rest your body and rest your mind. This is just as important as movement. If you practice yoga or do other forms of workouts, including walking, build in days off. Do you have a partner and kids? Communicate with them when you need an extra hour of sleep on Sunday morning so they can begin parenting duties without you. If you have family nearby or a babysitter you love, reach out and ask for an evening or full night of alone time.
Pay attention to how your body and mind feel. Should you note that exhaustion is present, know when rest is the answer and when you need to ask for help to get some.
5) Make yourself a solo dinner reservation.
I love my family so much, but I am due for a ‘JUST ONE, thanks’ dinner reservation in order to sit, be waited upon, and eat in silence. This will likely be my self care Valentine’s Day request.
6) Journal.
I wrote a bit about journaling and cultivating a gratitude practice in my January post on setting realistic resolutions, but I’ve been actively journaling since January 1 of this year. And really I love the short time I’ve now built into each day for self care, reflection, and affirmation setting. If you’re looking for a no more than Five Minute Journal, I highly recommend this one. It’s made journaling a manageable, daily practice, even when there never seems to be enough time.
7) Go on a drive.
Similar to an encouragement to wander, go on a short drive, perhaps without a destination. Put on a good song and sing loudly. If it’s warm enough, crack the windows and let in some air. Even if it’s around the block once or twice, this is a low-effort way to spend a little alone time.
8) Sit with a warm beverage.
I’m a coffee and almost equally a tea person, and there is something special about holding a warm mug in your hands, especially before the first sip. Most mornings, I sit for just a few minutes with coffee and journal (above) so I can savor the fresh coffee smell and take a few breaths/moments before diving into the day.
9) Declutter a space.
This might seem a weird idea for a solo ‘date,’ but I find the act of cleaning out a space (clothes or hall closet, for example) therapeutic. I wrote a bit about it in January, but I moved to a capsule wardrobe about two years ago. No, I’m never going back, and that initial closet-purge and subsequent donation affected me in a way I didn’t anticipate. Like some of the ideas in this post, simplicity is often best. And a simpler, thoughtful, more purposeful wardrobe is one example of some therapeutic decluttering.
10) Buy yourself a treat.
This list really could go on, but treat thyself. Coffee? Nail appointment? A new plant baby (or three)? It certainly doesn’t need to be expensive, but do make it a practice to gift yourself every now and again.
