How to Set New Year’s Resolutions We Can Actually Achieve

Happy January, everyone! At the beginning of a new year, I always find it hard to accept that the previous year has, in fact, ended. (This morning, I wrote the wrong date in my planner and yesterday, made the mistake of ordering a 2022 calendar.) But…here we are. A new year. In my day job, we publish a monthly newsletter for young people (high school students), and—naturally—a colleague and I (big shoutout to Louise!) focused the standard post of many a new year: setting new year’s resolutions.

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So often in January, we set lofty goals that, much of the time, fizzle and fade by February or March. But instead of setting resolutions that are neither realistic or achievable, I offer the following: if you really want to make a change, consider using some of these goal- and priority-setting guidelines based on a technique called Motivational Interviewing, which help first determine your readiness for change (an important, and often overlooked step) as well as develop a plan.

How to Approach Setting Realistic Resolutions

1. Gauge your desire for change: “I want to change.”
   • Is this resolution something you want, or is this desire for change the result of an external pressure(s)? What are some of the ways your life would be improved by making this change?
2. Consider your belief in the ability to change: “I can change.”
   • Do you feel like lasting change is possible? Do you have the resources needed to support the change you’re looking to implement? If not, who can you turn to for consistent support?
3. Define your ‘why’: “It’s important to change because…”
   • What are the reasons behind this change? What needs or longings would this change fulfill?
4. Communicate your need: “I should change.”
   • Write it down and complete the sentence based on the belief that change is actually possible and the reasons for change that you’ve identified.
5. Create a plan: “I am ready, prepared, and willing to change; I am taking specific actions to change.”
   • Start with very small, incremental steps that feel achievable rather than trying to conquer the entire resolution. For example, outline three steps you would need to take to see improvement, note by when and how you’ll follow through, then celebrate when you reach these mini-goals. It can be really helpful to share your plan with another person who can offer support and encouragement.
6. Expect a set-back(s): “I am human.”
   • Slip-ups happen. Routines and schedules give way to more urgent matters. It doesn’t mean all progress is lost. Consider a set-back as a moment to reflect, perhaps adjust, then begin again.
7. Reflect often: “I am flexible and receptive, always learning.”
   • How will you know when you’ve made the change? How has it affected your priorities, your habits, your overall wellness?

An example of Putting a Resolution Into Practice

This year, I’ve set a resolution to journal four to five times per week. I’ve always kept a journal on my nightstand, but with general exhaustion or a good book or, let’s be honest, the lure of social media late at night, it’s not something I’ve often reached for.

The benefits of journaling for mental health are well documented, and when assessing my own desire and reasons for wanting to implement this change, it’s quite simple, really: I want to have some dedicated space each day to get out my thoughts and reflect. Certainly, I can do this if I commit to putting down my phone or picking up the journal and pen prior to opening a book.

I also decided that in order to implement this practice with regularity, I should make it as easy as possible to commit (a principle true of any practice, including cultivating a yoga practice). I purchased The Five Minute Journal, a journal that, as its title indicates, sets aside five-minutes per day of writing time and helps one develop a gratitude practice, another beneficial wing of journaling.

About a week in, I love that this journal really is set up to take no more than five minutes per day, and I’ve noticed that I look forward to when I’ll write (the same times each day) and the feeling after I’ve jotted my thoughts.

I’m also reminding myself that this is one resolution that there might be days where — thanks to work or a four-year-old or sheer exhaustion — writing doesn’t happen. But as step six notes above, it’s important to pause, reflect, and then begin again. Based on how I’m approaching this in bite-sized pieces and with consistency, this resolution doesn’t feel lofty or too grand. Or that it will fade in February.

What is it that you’re trying to resolve to do in this new year? (Or at any point in this new year?) How will you approach the process of change?

Here are some Amazon favorites in honor of self-care and and refreshing yourself/space in the new year!